Cults, Pyros, WereCats, and Stupid Green Aliens
by HelgaGP
Summary: A WereCat and a girl with fire power join Dib and Zim's class, pulling the two rivals into their life of danger and insanity and changing their world forever. Writen by me and my friend Mali.
1. Chap 1 Skool is Not Fun At All

Hello. This is a strange thing done by me and my friend Mali. We did it in the form of an RP on MSN. It's not done yet and we really don't have much idea of what will happen in it. Okay? Some things you need to know are, first, Dib is around the age of 14 or 15. second, Ms. Bitters moved up in grades because she felt that the spirits of Zim and Dib's class weren't crushed enough. Kay? Oh, and anything can happen. Don't say I didn't warn you. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *  
Cults, Pyros, Werecats, and Stupid Green Aliens  
  
Chapter One: Skool is Not Fun at ALL!  
  
It's a quiet night in the middle of Nowheresville USA... All is normal, except for the EAR SPLITTING CRY OF PAIN coming from that alley over there...  
  
A teen girl of 16 screamed at the sight of the 20-something cultist. The Cultist moved toward girl. A scythe magically appearing in the Cultist's hand.She was about to swing when... A Black cat soared through the air and gave the Cultist severe kitty scratches! The woman (cultist) screamed and covered her face, and dissappeared.  
  
The Cat changes into a girl, with brown hair and brown eyes, of 14.  
  
Mali: Jenny, are you okay? Why didn't you flame her?  
  
Jen: sorry, I was kinda gettin' over the shock of being come at by a girl with a scythe  
  
Mali: oh well... We need to get out of here. SOON!  
  
Jen: I wont argue with that! That Freak could come back for revenge. And I have a feeling we don't want to meet her friends  
  
Mali: We got to get somewhere else. Another town.  
  
Jen: Yeah. But where?  
  
Mali: How about...  
  
The scene fades to black and black to fade into. Another perfectly stupid day of SKOOL!  
  
Ms. Bitters: New students, I don't care, talk to them  
  
Dib, a big headed child, stared at the girls.   
  
Dib: *Raises hand* Ms. Bitters, I think the girls don't belong here.  
  
The new girls look nervous.   
  
Mali: *eye twitches* Bug off...  
  
Jen: What are you talking about? Of course we belong here! What makes you think we're different?  
  
Mali: So what if we're different? *gazes around the room*  
  
Dib rolls his eyes.  
  
Mali: *scowls* What?  
  
Mali looks away from Fox Mulder.  
  
Poonchy: this happens EVERY time!  
  
Mali's eyes fall upon Zim  
  
Mali:*muttering* Different *Louder* So, uh, where do we sit?  
  
Ms. Bitters: You sit THERE! She points to a single seat where Tak was.  
  
Jen: Who sits there?  
  
Ms: Bitters: * Points to Jenny* Due to tax cuts, you share the same seat!  
  
Mali: Damn it! Jen: WHAT?!!? Hehehe... you're kidding.... right?  
  
Ms. Bitters: No  
  
Jen: Oh. Ohhhh...kaaaaaaay  
  
Our two heroines try to fit in one single seat! With no success at all! Spitting and argueing happens, and now everyone hates each other more!  
  
Mali: Ack! It's not worth it.  
  
Jen: You're hoggin' the whole seat!  
  
Mali sits on the floor.  
  
Jen: that's better.  
  
Mali: Happy?  
  
Jen: Yes. Are you?  
  
Mali: No, what do you think?  
  
Jen: Fine, if you're gonna be that way.  
  
Ms. Bitters hovers over the desk.  
  
Ms. Bitters: Here's your assignment children of doom.  
  
She hands out the assignment, which says DOOM all over it.  
  
Jen: But.... this is 492 pages long. And all it says is doom!  
  
Mali: So what?  
  
Jen looks at Mali strangely.  
  
Mali: I read Phantom of the Opera for the first time in a day! Wait...This is longer.  
  
Jen's eyes widen.  
  
Mali cries because the story was sad, but suddenly stops crying for no reason at all.  
  
Jen: You worry me some times.  
  
Dib looks back at the crazy girls.  
  
Mali: Oh well. I have no life. But poor Erik! *Notices Dib staring* Stare somewhere else!!  
  
Jen: Yeah, why do you keep staring at us?  
  
Mali: We're not Aliens... I think, I hope, Maybe, Sorta, Kinda, NEVER MIND!  
  
Jen: *sighs* we're NOT aliens Mali.  
  
Mali: Okay.  
  
Jen: Unlike that green thing over there  
  
Dib stares at Jenny  
  
Mali: He's not an ALIEN! He's cute. I like BIG eyes!  
  
Jen: Oh come on! He's green!  
  
Mali: SO? You went green when you ate the Scool food!(A/N-Scool is a variation of Skool)  
  
Jen: *looks embarrassed* that... that was different!  
  
Mali: Okay, skool food is evil.  
  
Mali glances at Green Boy.  
  
Dib: *looking at Jen* You.... You know about Zim?!  
  
Zim stares at Jenny. He is worried.  
  
Jenny stares at a fly on the ceiling.  
  
The fly on the ceiling is staring at Jenny.  
  
Jen: *looks back at Dib* Well It's pretty obvious. Anyone with ANY knowledge of the paranormal would see it right away!  
  
Mali: Paranormal? I go with Gothic evil. Vampires, Lycanthropes, Liches...Not space...  
  
Jen: And that's paranormal still, you're a hypocrite. I prefer more of the aliens, ghosts, supernatural...etc. kinda thing... 


	2. Chap 2 Good Pyro and Lycanthropy Time Wa...

Note: everything in (these) is Mali and Jen talking to each other telepathically. Bet ya didn't know we could do that, now did ya? OOOoooo we is magical!! Nevermind. Read and review please.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *  
  
Mali: *rolls eyes. Goes back to reading Phantom of the Opera* Poor Erik... ERIK!   
  
Jenny: *shakes head slowly*   
  
Mali: Erik died... WHY?   
  
Jenny: I don't know. Never read it   
  
Mali: He was a great man...   
  
Jenny: Here we go again!   
  
Mali: Did terrible things, but great   
  
Jen: Was that a 'Harry Potter' quote?   
  
Mali: Yes...   
  
Jen: Cool   
  
Dib: *raises eye brow*   
  
Mali: Hello, staring bigheaded person who loves aliens   
  
Dib: MY HEAD'S NOT BIG! *glares* And I HAVE to like aliens! THE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT!!!!   
  
Jen: Cool   
  
Mali: It does? Prove it. *Smug grin*   
  
Dib: Yes.... yes it does. Go talk to Zim! THEN tell me he's not a psycho alien bent on destroying mankind   
  
Jen: He would tell us that?   
  
Mali: *walks up to Zim* Hello. I'm Mali, and I'm sanitized for your protection.   
  
Zim: *O_o;* huh?   
  
Mali: I'm germ free!   
  
Zim: ...   
  
Mali: ...   
  
Jen: *Still at desk. Her and Dib are watching Mali and Zim* Awww.... They look so cute together!   
  
Dib: Huh? WHAT?!   
  
Mali: Well, I know something you don't know Zim....   
  
Jen: *listening* this should be interesting   
  
Mali: *whispers something to Zim*   
  
Dib: what did she say?   
  
Jen: Heck if I know.   
  
Zim: O_O Really?   
  
Jen: What's she doing?   
  
Dib: I.... don't know.   
  
Mali: *Nods*   
  
Zim: *burst out laughing, not his maniac one, but more like a child's*   
  
Mali: *^_^*   
  
Dib: That's creepy   
  
Jen: Maybe I should go over there and make sure Mali isn't saying anything she shouldn't...........About me   
  
Mali: *notices Jenny coming* Hey!   
  
Jen: *walks up to Mali* Hello..... What'cha talkin' bout?   
  
Mali: Stufffffffff...   
  
Zim: hmhmhm   
  
Jen: Whaaaaaaaat? Are you talkin' about me?   
  
Mali: No.   
  
Jen: Good   
  
Mali: We're talking about the abnormally large head of Dib. It's an inordinate size!   
  
Jen: *looks back at Dib* *Dib raises an eyebrow at them* I don't think it's that big.  
  
*Dib looks surprised*   
  
Mali: Are you kidding? It's humongous! *Sings a song* Dib, Dib, had a very big head... (Thank you Mouko!)   
  
Jen: *looks embarrassed* would you stop that?   
  
Mali: Whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyy????   
  
Jen: Because... It's not very nice!   
  
Mali: So?   
  
Jen: Well it's probably not the best way to start in at a new skool either! We have to fit in, remember?  
  
Zim: *raises eyebrow*   
  
Mali: I already do. I don't need friends. I'll be that whiney girl in the corner with the green kid!   
  
Jen: uhhh....you do that. And I'll be the strange dark girl who likes the paranormal and supernatural   
  
Zim: We've already got one of them.   
  
Mali: *chokes in laughter*   
  
Jen: *rolls her eyes*   
  
Mali and Zim: *laughter*   
  
Jen: Oh come on! Dib can't be THAT bad......Can he?   
  
Mali: Yeah he can...   
  
Jen: How would YOU know?! We just got here!!   
  
Mali: I'm special.   
  
Jen: That's true   
  
Mali: And special people get to hug "aliens"   
  
Zim: WHAT?! I mean..... WHAT aliens-- GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEE!!!!   
  
Mali: *Hugs Zim*   
  
Zim: *screams and squirms*   
  
Jen: I'll just let you two be now......   
  
Mali: ^.^   
  
Jen: *backs away from the screaming boy and insane friend, then runs back to the desk behind Dib*   
  
Dib: That... was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen   
  
Jen: .........yeah...   
  
Dib: Soooo... You don't think my head is big?   
  
Jen: I've seen bigger   
  
Mali: *Has Zim on a leash with Zim chewing on it*   
  
Jen: WHAT THE HELL!!!   
  
Dib: What's she doing!!!   
  
Mali: ^.^   
  
Jen: Actually, that's kinda normal for her......   
  
Everybody: * O.o;*   
  
Dib: You're kidding..... Or I'm dreaming..... One or the other......   
  
Mali: Neither... little pop tart.   
  
Jen: *puts her head down on the desk and puts her arms over her head. * Yep...That's Mali *laughs a little*   
  
Mali: *Laughs* *Notices Zim chewing away* STOP IT! *Gets a newspaper*   
  
Dib: *starts laughing his head off watching Zim*   
  
Jen: MALI!! Put ......the paper....down   
  
Mali: *pouty* FINE!   
  
Jen: Good girl. Here's a cookie   
  
Mali: No. Wait. What kind?   
  
Jen: Chocolate chip. *Pulls a cookie out of the pocket of her black jacket*   
  
Mali: Okay! *Eats half of cookie and gives other half to Zim*   
  
Zim: *sniffs it, shrugs, and eats it*   
  
Mali: Good boy...   
  
Dib: Wow. Zim's being treated like a dog..... Didn't think I'd see that till he was in a lab   
  
Mali: Dib, stop with the dog jokes.   
  
Dib: *scowls* Why? People always joke about my head!!! Why can't I make a couple jokes about Zim acting like a dog?!?!   
  
Mali: Because that particular joke is used in many cartoons. "This is my Lab! *Bark* and this is my Laboratory!" Haven't you seen Spongebob?   
  
Dib: No....I watch Mysterious Mysteries!   
  
Mali: You... need a life...   
  
Jen: cool. I wanna watch that. And he doesn't look dead to me!   
  
Mali: The cultist wasn't dead.   
  
Jen: *shivers* Don't even mention that. Dib's not a cultist! Are you? *Looks at Dib. He shakes his head*   
  
Mali: How would YOU know? You only just came here?   
  
Jen: He just said so   
  
Mali: *Rolls eyes* Of COURSE he said it. A REAL cultist would deny it.   
  
Jen: *Looks at Dib, looks at Mali, looks back at Dib, looks back at Mali, looks at Dib, looks at Zim and almost bursts out laughing as he chews the leash a little more, looks at Mali, Stops and studies Dib.*   
  
Jen: That girl looked creepy. *Smiles* He doesn't look creepy.   
  
Mali: So? I know that one isn't a cultist...*points at Zim*   
  
Jen: Duh! He's an alien!   
  
Zim: *looks up quickly.* huh?   
  
Mali: No he isn't. He's sick.   
  
Zim: Yes. Sick. Terribly sick.   
  
Dib: he's been green since he moved here   
  
Mali: He's got... CANCER! Radiation makes him green..   
  
Jen: *sighs and throws her hands in the air* Alright! Whatever! You believe what you want.   
  
Mali: Actually, I made that up off the top of my head...He didn't tell me that.   
  
Jen: *sighs again*   
  
Mali: *Pets Zim and purrs*   
  
Jen: *muttering* Mali.... you're purring again   
  
Mali: Oops! Sorry.   
  
Dib: *Throughly confused*   
  
Zim: *continues to chew the leash*   
  
Jen: *nods head toward Zim and Dib* igsay on the catandpyronay   
  
Dib: Was that pig Latin?   
  
Mali: Fine! *Mutters about no "fun" at all*   
  
Jen: *ignores Dib's question* Well, then again, if you want the cultist and her friends to find you   
  
Mali: Okay! I'll stop it.*Mali looks sad*   
  
Jen: I thought you'd see it that way. Besides, I don't like it either! *eye twitches once*   
  
Mali: Whoever wrote that song "It's Raining Men" was wrong. It never rains men!   
  
Jen: Riiiiiiiiiiiight   
  
Dib and Zim: O_o   
  
Dib: Does she always do this?   
  
Jen: Yep! At least it keeps things interesting!   
  
Zim: *goes back to chewing the leash off*   
  
Jen: *looks down at Zim* having fun?   
  
Zim: *growls*   
  
Jen: okay. Sorry *looks at Mali* I thought you didn't like dogs.   
  
Mali: I do! I like the Chihuahuas and Pit Bulls!   
  
Jen:hmmmmm..... I'll stick with the cats.   
  
Mali: You can't put a leash on cats!   
  
Jen: True. But I once heard of this cat who went back into a BURNING BUILDING to save her kittens.... I wish I were in a burning building.   
  
Dib: *gives her a strange look*   
  
*Bell rings for recess*   
  
Mali: Ooh!   
  
Jen: RECESS!!!!! YAY! *Skips away in an un-naturally good mood*   
  
Mali: * Slinks away into shadows*   
  
Dib: *walks out*   
  
Zim: *FINALLY chews off leash and leaves*   
  
*Jenny. Now outside, looks to make sure no ones looking then quickly moves around to the side of the skool away from the playground*   
  
Jen: Finally!   
  
*Mali meets her*   
  
Jen: hey   
  
Mali: Hi...Cat form might be better for me...   
  
Jen: Go ahead! I need to be around some fire! *Her hand is palm up in front of her, a flame appears inside*   
  
Mali: *transforms into cat at the same moment Dib and Zim coming walking around the side of the Skool* Aww... craaaaaaaaappppppp...We've been spotted  
  
Dib: MY HEAD ISN'T BIG YOU STINKIN ALIEN!  
  
Zim: Yes it is, stinkbeast!   
  
Jen: That's better. *Sees Dib and Zim* Shit *flame disappears quickly, her hand isn't even charred*   
  
*Mali runs into shadows*   
  
Jen: *now on her own as Mali transforms in private, stands up and smiles nervously at the boys* uhh..... Hi....guys.... Uh... Happy 'Fire Holding and Metamorphosis Day'!  
  
Dib and Zim: *Just stare, dumbstruck at what they saw*   
  
Jen: uhhh..... sooo....what you up to?   
  
Dib: YOU WERE HOLDING FIRE!!!! *Dib rushes over, grabs her hand and examines it*   
  
Jen: hey! *pulls hand away*   
  
Zim: THERE WAS A FELINE-HUMAN THING!   
  
Jen: Umm..... Mali: *fully in cat form* Meow? *Brushes against Jenny's ankles*   
  
Jen: what? This? This is.....my pet cat....yeah.   
  
Mali: *Purrs*   
  
Jen: See? Normal cat. nice.....normal.... cat..... OWWWW!   
  
Mali: *claws her for sounding so stupid* MEROW!   
  
Jen: remind me to get her declawed.....   
  
Mali: *hisses*   
  
Zim: Pfft! Right! You expect us to believe your pathetic human lies?   
  
Dib: That cat looks awfully familiar   
  
Jen: There're ALOT of black cats in the world!   
  
Mali: *purrs and rubs Zim's leg*   
  
Dib: *Gasps*   
  
*FLASHBACK*   
  
Jen: Mali, you're purring again...   
  
*End Flashback*   
  
Mali: *gets an idea* *Jumps on Dib's head and starts clawing it*   
  
Jen: MALI!!! Stop that!! Get off Dib's Head!!!!*eyes grow wide at what she just said*   
  
Mali: *Hisses* Translation: YOU IDIOT!   
  
Dib: Ow .O   
  
Jen: I mean..... CALI!! MY CAT!! Get off Dib's head! My cat's name is Cali.....yeah..... sounds like Mali, but it's Cali...get it?   
  
Mali: *thinks* Short for California... *jumps on Zim's head and falls asleep in his wig*   
  
Zim: *annoyed*   
  
Jen: Awww! Isn't that cute!   
  
Dib: Owwwww.....   
  
Jen: *looks at Dib* Ouch! Maybe you should go to the nurse. *Sees Dib's glasses are scratched. Grins* I'll help you.   
  
Dib: No! I can do it! You'll set me on fire or something! *He runs into a pole*   
  
Jen: *Nods* I'll help you   
  
Mali: *wakes up and hisses* Translation: Don't take him, I reduced his head area and circumference *Pays WAY too much attention to Math*   
  
Jen: *glares* Translation: You're mean!   
  
Mali: *telepathically* (So what if I'm mean?)   
  
Jenny: *telepathically* (leave him alone! You don't even know him!)   
  
Mali: (Hey... Zim's hair is lice free unlike your friend...)   
  
Jen: (Dib doesn't have lice!)   
  
Mali: (Yes he does. They jumped on me.)   
  
Jen: (then stay away from me!)   
  
Mali: (When I went on Zim, they all died.)   
  
Jen: (Aaaaaaaaaaliennnnnnnn!!!)   
  
Mali: (No. CLEEEEEAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!)   
  
Jen: (Aaaaaaaaaaaaliennnnnnnn!!!!)   
  
Mali: (CLEEEAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!)   
  
Jen: (Aaaaaaaaaaaaliennnnnnnnn!!!)   
  
Mali: (CLEAN! CLEAN! CLEAN! Plus, your beau has lice. or fleas.)   
  
Jen: (HE DOESN'T HAVE LICE!!!!)   
  
Mali: (Yes he does!)   
  
Jen: (Hey! He's not my beau!)   
  
Mali: (Then what is he?)   
  
Jen: (I...he's...A friend! Geeze! We just met! And if you don't mind Dib needs to go to the nurse. Thanks to you!)   
  
Mali: (I made his head smaller and got rid of some of his lice!)   
  
Jen: *takes Dib's arm and leads him toward the skool, he's nearly blind*   
  
Mali: (LICEY DIB!)   
  
Jen: *Calling back telepathically* (HE DOESN'T HAVE LICE!!!!!)   
  
Mali: (YES HE DOES!!!!!)   
  
Jen: (YOU'RE BOYFRIEND'S AN ALIEN!!!!!)   
  
Mali: (So? I like foreign exchange students)   
  
Jen: (AND HE THINKS HE'S A DOG!!! hehehe..... Cat's and dogs don't go well together)   
  
Mali: (I like dogs, just not as much as cats. I bet you'll set fire to your beau's head!)   
  
Jen: *out loud* grrrrrrrrrrrrr *Dib looks at her nervously*   
  
Mali: (Rrrrr? You're thinking like a dog now!)   
  
Jen: (Oh shut up! I'm NOT a dog person! And I'm NOT going to set Dib's head on fire!!!)   
  
Mali: (Why not?)   
  
Jen: (Zim's on the other hand.... WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING ON IT!!)   
  
Mali: (He has no hair. I was sleeping on a wig.)   
  
Jen: (SEE? He's an alien!)   
  
Mali: (I like bald men. And no, he's not an alien.)   
  
Jen: (yes he his!)   
  
Mali: (He's not an alien because he's bald. I read a story about a girl whose hair fell out.)   
  
Jen: (bald.... green...no ears.... no nose... big eyes....)   
  
Mali: (I LIKE big eyes. Plus, he fell in radioactive stuff.)   
  
Jen: *not concentrating on where she's leading Dib and they both hit the skool*   
  
Dib and Jenny: Owwwww......   
  
Mali: (Hehehehe)   
  
Dib: Hey! Watch where we're going!   
  
Mali: (I love having perfect vision...)   
  
Jen: *out loud* sorry! Mal---er--Cali over there was distracting me!   
  
Dib: Your cat? Right. okay.   
  
Mali: *thinks* How stupid can you get?   
  
Jen: *growls slightly at Mali telepathically*   
  
Mali: (You need to watch where you're going!)   
  
Jen: (You need to get off Zim's head! he don't seem to like it much!)   
  
Zim: *sits down scowling*   
  
Mali: (FINE! Once you let go of your lovebird's hand.)   
  
Jen: (hehehe....lovebird.....HEY!!!)   
  
Mali: (Heh.)   
  
Jen: (He's nearly blind! ...He needs my help...)   
  
Mali: (Fine. I'll help him!\)   
  
Jen: (What?! Mali, what are you doing?!?)   
  
Mali: *runs off behind the Skool, transforms to hybrid, puts on a cape and picks up Dib*   
  
Jen: *out loud* What the heck!!?? MALI!!! PUT HIM DOWN!!!   
  
Mali: (I'm rescuing him now.)   
  
Jen: *slaps her forehead* way too much Phantom of the opera......   
  
Mali: (No. Dib is more of a Raoul, Zim's the Phantom)   
  
Jen: *growls* Put Dib down NOW!!! If you don't I swear I'll go Pyr---*cuts herself off quickly*   
  
Mali: *Puts Dib down at the first aid area* *out loud* You shouldn't cut yourself. *under cloak transforms to Human*   
  
Dib: what? This cat came at me!   
  
Mali: Huh? You're blind. It was... THE GREAT SAIYAMAN!   
  
Jen: *gives Dib a weird look* Dib! I'm SO sorry about that cat thing!   
  
Mali: You... have... a... big... mouth... LOVERS!   
  
Jen: WHAT!!!????   
  
Mali: *Laughs*   
  
Dib: Lovers? What's going on?!   
  
Jen: Mali is stupid   
  
Mali: I'm not! I qualified for GATE!   
  
Zim: *walking in door* what's this GATE you speak of?   
  
Mali: I'm gifted and talented.   
  
Jen: right. Sure   
  
Mali: GATE stands for Gifted and Talented Education I QUALIFIED!   
  
Jen: And I'm the Queen of Brazil   
  
Mali: *nods* You are...Ooh! *zips mouth shut*   
  
Jen: *rolls eyes.*   
  
Zim: So you're a leader of this planet?   
  
Jen: NO!   
  
Zim: oh   
  
Mali: She is.   
  
Jen: Pfft! I wish! Or. No too much responsibility   
  
Mali: I'm kidding. I want to be... Uh. Who cares?!   
  
Everybody: HUH?   
  
Nurse: *looking over Dib* hmmm....you kids shouldn't play on that side of the skool. 


End file.
